365 things to do before I die
by Chocolmel
Summary: Sollux Captor and Karkat Vantas have been best friends since middle school. In their last year of high school Karkat is diagnosed with Acute Leukemia. Can Sollux and Karkat stay friends, and maybe become something more, as well as accomplish everything they wish to do before Karkat's time is up?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello and welcome to my story ^-^. So this idea came basically from one of my favorite fanfics called Karkata inti so if you haven't read that I highly recommend it. Also, I know next to nothing about Karkat's illness, though I have recently done a bunch of research. If I get any of the facts wrong don't be shy, please tell me so I can fix it. **

**I believe that this will be a pretty long fic (if I am able to keep updating) so I really hope you guys will enjoy it!**

**_365 things to do before I die_**

"H-how long?" I managed to choke out, voice dry and cracking.

"A year, 365 days, 4,380 hours, 262,800 minutes, how else can I say it Sollux?" His tone was terribly blunt. I looked down, unable to hold his gaze any longer. Unlike the rest of his stone hard composure his light grey eyes were afraid. They begged me to help, but I couldn't.

"I-I'll be right back." Although I was known to flee from situations where I felt emotionally unstable, the guilt from leaving his hospital room when he obviously needed me was unbearable. But then again, it wasn't everyday that your best friend called you up in the middle of the night and told you that he was only expected to live for one more year. So you can cut me a little slack alright?

I made my way out into the impossibly white waiting room and with leaden legs, sunk into one of the uncomfortable chairs. The few other guests all shot me sympathetic glances; nobody has a good reason for a visit to the hospital after all. And I'm pretty sure I looked like shit, although that wasn't entirely my fault.

Karkat had called me at 2 fucking 30 in the morning telling me to meet him here, no explanation, no cussing. Instantly I knew something was horribly wrong and I had rushed over to the emergency room without attempting to brush my hair or even put on matching shoes. I stared at the black converse and white van before my eyes started to get blurry.

Shit, was I crying?

Determined to avoid sporting puffy red eyes I bit my lip and wandered over to the vending machine. I spent my last few dollars on my favorite honey flavored cookies and Kit-Kats for KK.

With the merchandise tucked safely into my jacket pockets I slowly made my way back to KK's room. I knew I was stalling and I felt disgusted with myself. He needed me in there with him, but here I was, out in the hall like a coward.

Gathering up my courage, _idiot it's Karkat, what's there to be afraid of?, _I knocked softly on the door. "KK, I'm thorry… can I come in?"

It was a few seconds before I got an answer. "Yes."

I cracked open the door carefully and slipped inside. His eyes were redder then I remembered and the tissue box that had previously been stored across the room was now on the nightstand beside his bed. His hands were shaking and my heart throbbed.

Again I felt the tugging instinct to flee but I made myself walk over to him and settle on the tiny bed. "I hate you Sollux…" He muttered before throwing his arms around my waist and burying his head in my stomach.

I let my fingers play with his soft dark hair and sighed. His shoulders shook but he made no sound. "Thhh…" My damned lisp made it sound like a hissing snake instead of the comfort that it was supposed to be. "It'h, It'h okay- maybe you'll-" I gestured wildly and he cut me off with a glare .

"No." His face softened into a small smile, and to be honest, that scared me more than anything else that night. "I-I'm going to die, and that's that. At least I might have a year; a lot of people don't even get that." _Yeah but you're not most people…_

My shoulders sagged and that's when it fully hit me. Karkat wasn't going to live out the year. Our upcoming plans to go to college together shot down, that road trip we had planned for next summer, everything gone.

My vision blurred and then suddenly he had his arm wrapped around my shoulders, head nestled in the crook of my neck. I cursed, I was crying again. "Th-thorry…damnit I wath- I promithed mythelf I wouldn't- fuck-." I let out a breathy snicker; my messed up mind's only possible reaction left. Thankfully Karkat didn't take offense and shushed me instead. Wasn't that my job?

"It's okay-"

"No ith not! Don't thay that, nothing ith okay!" He just sighed and whispered, "Yeah."

I felt horrible, knowing that I was probably making this messed up situation a thousand times worse. Karkat was the one sick. He was the one dying. So why was I the one sitting here bawling my eyes out, while Karkat's, although puffy, remained dry?

He had always acted stronger than he was though. I could count the times I've seen him cry on one hand and all of those were when we were young. Well, not counting all those romcom nights….

I took a deep breath and rubbed my tired eyes and slowly met his anxious grey ones.

"You okay?" We both spoke at the same time, "Oh-thorry-no-ah!" and burst out laughing, and didn't stop. Every time we looked at each other's faces we cracked up again. I think I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that we were both so stressed out and emotional at that moment and that it was wrong to be laughing, but neither of us would cease.

Finally about three minutes later an older doctor opened the door and popped his head in. "Are you boys okay?" He questioned glancing between our red faces and we laughed again.

"Yeah we're fine." Karkat managed to choke out. An embarrassed grin settled on my face and the doctor slowly backed out shaking his head. I knew we must have been a sight to behold, two insane teenage boys in a hospital laughing like someone had just told the world's funniest joke.

Hey, fear will do that to you.

Karkat's tearstained grinning face met my own and a moment of comfortable silence commenced. I combed through my tangled web of thoughts, wondering what on Earth was wrong with us, and what was supposed to happen next.

"Are we okay?" KK whispered, his tone implying a thousand other questions that he was too afraid to ask. I paused and replied, "Nah, we've never been though, tho we'll make it through thith." I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and squeezed. Karkat just sighed and said "Let's just go home dumbass."

"Thoundth like a plan to me."

Of course it was a bit more difficult than that, they wanted to have him stay for further testing, but his logic, and of course I backed him all the way, was that the Leukemia had already claimed the rest of his life, but it wasn't going to invade his last year.

I shot a guilty smile at the nurses as he dragged me out the door.

I stared at the lump that was snoring loudly in the seat beside me. "KK, KK wake up." I nudged him and he groaned and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a "fuck you". I sighed and glanced back at my house. All the lights were on, meaning my father had noticed my absence. I mean I hadn't exactly been silent in my mad rush to leave the house but I was still dreading the confrontation that I was sure would occur.

I reached over to unbuckle the sleeping boy and hauled him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Predictably he struggled and I flailed under his weight. "Fuck- put me down!"

"No!"

"UGH!" His groan turned into a yawned and amazingly he stopped moving. "Fine, but I'm just going to sleep here then." His head thumped back down on my shoulder, arms winding around my neck. I smirked and shuffled over to the front door, which I had forgotten to lock when I left.

As soon as I slipped inside and kicked off my shoes I heard a footsteps striding towards us. "Sollux? Is that you?"

"Yeth…" I called back, quietly maneuvering into the living room and dumping KK onto the couch. My dad's face came into view but instead of furious like I thought he would be his voice was soft.

"Karkat's father called me. He's sorry he can't be here right now…" The words seemed to have a hard time leaving his mouth. Of course he was upset as well; KK was like a second son to my father. _Is like,_ I quickly and harshly corrected myself. "He wanted to know if Karkat could stay here," My father continued, "Of course I agreed."

"I figured." I said, running a hand through my disheveled brown hair. "We already drove patht KK'th houthe but no one wath home tho I brought him here." I jutted my chin out towards the lump on the sofa, resisting the urge to smirk and sob at the same time.

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder but I involuntarily flinched. "I'll leave you two alone." My father said turning away. "But Sollux? Don't forget to tell me where you're going next time alright?" He threw me a half smile and padded down the hallway, switching off lights as he went.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Well that was… easier than expected. I thought to myself glancing back down to Karkat.

My room, unlike my father's, was upstairs in the attic. I wasn't exactly looking forward to hauling my friend's ass up there but I didn't want to wake him and he would be more comfortable in a real bed. Damn stupid KK, barging his way into my heart.

When I bent down to scoop him up, his hands found my jacket and he balled up the fabric mumbling under his breath.

I shifted his body so that I was carrying him bridal style and stared the steep climb. His breath was hot in my ear and every so often I caught my name in his mumble jumble of sleep talk.

When I made it to the landing I paused, catching my breath. It wasn't that Karkat was all that heavy, he was actually extremely light for his age, but I wasn't in the best physical shape ever.

"Sollux…" He murmured, stirring and pressing his forehead to my cheek. It was hot. "My head hurts," he whimpered. I smoothed back his sweaty bangs and kicked open the door to my room. I carefully set him down on my double bed and he snuggled into the sheets.

"Do you want an aspirin?" I asked a bit unsure. Karkat never got headaches, that was my thing.

"Jus make it stop…" he slurred, curling into a ball.

"Okay, I'll be right back." I whispered, rushing to the bathroom. I wet a washcloth with cold water and grabbed my aspirin bottle and some water. When I got back to my room I roused him just enough to make him swallow two pills and lay the cloth on his head. In no time his breathing deepened and sunk into the cool embrace of sleep.

It was much harder for me to settle down. I was worried sick about KK and I felt useless. The doctor had described his leukemia as _acute _meaning it had come on really fast, out of nowhere. They had also said that it had spread so far that chemotherapy was pretty much useless. Still they were going to try; his first session was going to be in about a week or so.

Finally I stopped pacing and stripped out of my sweaty clothes. I pulled on sweatpants but didn't even bother with a shirt. I crawled into bed but the sheets were to hot and scratchy and everything agitated me.

I shifted my position for about the thousandth time when Karkat rolled into me, shocking me into stillness. His body had cooled down and his forehead pressed against my chest felt nice. I allowed myself to relax, arms winding around his thin body.

I felt as if though reality had been suspended, like all of this had only been a very vivid dream. Except this wasn't a dream. I glanced down at the slumbering Karkat. No, this was all too real, and there wasn't any waking up.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok so I know I haven't updated and I apologize for that I really do! But don't think I have forgotten about this story, no, I have been working on it, I just haven't typed them up. I want to ask you guys if you want me to finish the whole story then upload it all at once or do you think I should type up the chapters as I write them? It's really up to you. Please leave a review or send me a message and let me know what you think. Thanks so much!


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